The pecan tree goes from green to yellow in two days, like It just turned off. No more juice for you guys and the leaves starve and die and fall. I love watching the leaves fall, it is somehow lovely and romantic, but just now I’m wondering about the leaf and did it feel romantic when the tree dropped it? Or did it feel romantic for the earth – here I come, I’m going to merge with you. Does it hold on with every pulse of its energy to the branch or does it let go easily and accept what is happening?
Obviously I am anthropomorphizing the poor leaf but that’s what we do, we’re the humans. We want to know about everything in our terms. We have convinced ourselves of our own myths – that we are the crown of creation, the king of the whole world, that God looks like us and thinks like us. What a coincidence given all the creatures that “He” created. But maybe “He” appears to each creature in their own image so they can recognize “Him”. God anthropomorphizing humans. “Yes and I write books too and I get mad but it’s righteous anger.”
Two Inca doves have come down to drink, fluttered down from the trees above and settled in the bog. Their grey and white costuming makes them appear somewhat angelic, their beautiful heads and their wings. They dip and sip from the shallow water and take off again, don’t want to stay too long and get their soft fluffy bodies torn apart by the predator cats. Especially Kybo, who shares the same grey and white coloration, and leaps out from under the bush or from behind the wall of the bog filter with her terrifying claws. I am anthropomorphizing again, maybe it’s not like that at all. I don’t suppose that the Inca Doves enjoy getting killed by the cat but maybe their sense of it is different being not the crown of creation but just one of the creatures and firmly ensconced in the food chain, neither on the top or the bottom. Animals seem to possess more than a modicum of acceptance. No one is really trying to climb up the food chain. The squirrels eat acorns that the oak tree provides from above but also from above comes the hawk and eats them. So is ‘the above’ good or bad for the squirrel? Not having eaten from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, of course, they cannot answer this question but simply accept and eat and are eaten.
We have courts and debates about what is good and acceptable and after 8,000 years of trying we still have not decided. Maybe our species with its high powered intellect is doomed to ask questions it can’t answer. The questions it can answer we tend to ignore like ‘why am I alive’ and ‘where did I come from’ and of course ‘where am I going next’. We’re here because we are here and we came from nowhere and we are going to nowhere. I can say that with confidence because in human language the word ‘where’ indicates a place or a space or a condition that can be described. We didn’t come nor are we going to any place that can be described. That’s not just my opinion, it has been verified by all the people who tried – thousands and millions of them, everyone really throughout the millennia. That we are here can be verified by looking in a mirror. Recognize that person? They have your name and your shape. Curiously enough, gorillas do not recognize themselves in the mirror, chimpanzees sometimes, dolphins and elephants, I’m not sure, ravens – they’ll try to steal the mirror and bring it to their mate as a gift. I wish someone would bring me a mirror as a gift, or maybe they have. Maybe every person I have met was giving me a mirror to see myself in some new way that I had never seen before.
So the seasons change. Leaves carpet the ground. Acorns crunch underfoot. It’s a mast season with all the rain that fell earlier in the year. The universe spins on, stars explode and galaxies collide while elsewhere tiny organic organisms look “up”, although there really is no up in the universe, and wonder why.